Journalists have been noting the rapid closure of gay bars for years and the economic strain of the past year's pandemic has certainly added to the demise of many more of these venues. So it feels especially poignant to read Jeremy Atherton Lin's nonfiction/memoir “Gay Bar” now as he catalogues his personal experience going to gay bars and other historic examples of notable establishments where gay people congregated. From this he considers the meaning of gay identity itself, notions of intimacy and the political/personal importance that these physical locations played in queer communities. The subtitle of this book “why we went out” feels especially poignant when considering why he and his long term partner 'Famous' went to bars to make friends, view the “scene” and have sex with other men. I really valued how candidly and explicitly he describes his experiences and what a positive example this gives of how sex is a part of Lin's own evolving sense of being a gay man and how an open long term relationship can work. His life, sensibility and values are very different from my own but I appreciate the intelligent and skilful ways he considers how experiences in gay-designated spaces can positively and negatively contribute to our personal and collective sense of gay identity.
Though Lin's experiences span decades and nations, it's perhaps telling how surprisingly small the gay community really is given that a number of the bars he describes are places I've been to and even some of the people he encounters I've met myself. I'm not someone who enjoys going out that much so I understand how the experience of gay bars can sometimes be tedious and even stifling given how self-conscious the gaze of men in these venues can make me feel. Yet, I've also had some wonderfully empowering and liberating experiences at gay bars whether that's been dancing to Kylie in a Prague bar, drunkenly playing pool with a stranger in a London gay pub or having a heart-to-heart talk with an older drag queen in Cleveland dive. What Lin describes so well is how these experiences are, of course, particular to the individual but they also allow the potential for instant connections no matter where you are in the world. The interactions that occur in these spaces also contribute to an ongoing community conversation we're having about how to negotiate living in a largely straight society as gay men. I think it's clever how the author balances playful points such as how San Francisco blow jobs differ from Los Angeles blow jobs with more series accounts of how gay bars became meeting grounds to launch gay liberation and inspire AIDS activism. This book is a valuable historical document which manages to be both intellectually rigorous and arousing.
