There are few subjects more tender and heartbreaking than a child whose parents have rejected them. Being cast out like that can crush someone's self esteem and make them feel like their place in the world is a mistake. It can also be liberating and allow someone to develop an identity separate from what their family has designated for them. So it's interesting how Vigdis Hjorth gives a unique point of view of such a case in “Is Mother Dead”. The story is told from the perspective of successful artist Johanna who has recently returned to her native Norway after a long absence. A major retrospective of her artwork will soon be shown and it's causing her to reflect on the remaining family that she's been estranged from for many years. She's aware her mother and sister inhabit the same city she's returned to and she doggedly attempts to make contact. When her advances are ignored and rejected Johanna begins stalking her mother. The reasons for this family rift and the painful feelings surrounding it are gradually revealed as we follow her determination to get some answers.
The prose are imbued with a lowkey solemnity and simmering resentment because she's not part of her family's life anymore. Having been labelled the black sheep, she prides herself on her independence and even at one point remarks “it feels like I am of the earth and not of Mum”. She's built a career, been in a loving marriage until her husband's death and has a thriving adult son of her own. However, there's a longing for a connection with her mother and she's desperate to know what her mother's life is like now. She's nervously aware that if her mother dies she might not even be informed of this fact. Though this novel is literally full of questions it feels notable that there's no question mark in the title. In a sense Johanna is haunting the old life she's left behind. She visits places from her youth and tries to reconcile the old woman she now spies on with the woman she knew growing up. At one point she realises her mother “had placed a ghost where she imagined me to be and she was terrified of it”.
So why can't Johanna simply part ways with her family who no longer want any contact with her? Johanna ponders this herself as she's doing this against her better judgement but she states “I yearn for something unobtainable... so why can't I just accept the situation as it is, my common sense already has, but pig-headedness makes me write to Mum, I don't understand myself.” And she realises that “I've come to terms with losing my mum, but I can't come to terms with Mum coming to terms with losing her daughter”. Since her mother refuses to discuss it with her, Johanna must become almost like a detective piecing together an answer from what she observes of her mother and what she remembers. The primary reasons for Johanna becoming an outcast are clear but the deeper motivations and pain her mother carries are harder to discern. Alongside this psychological mystery, there is a tension throughout the novel as we wonder will she actually speak to her mother again and can there be a reconciliation after all this time?
I feel like what you get out of this novel depends somewhat on what you're willing to put into it. On the surface it can feel repetitive and empty since Johanna is left to speculate about so much. However, seriously pondering the deeper questions at the heart of this book makes it feel achingly resonant. What obligation should a parent feel towards their child and vice versa? Is it possible to overcome fundamental differences of opinion about how life should be lived in order to maintain a family bond? How do you negotiate levels of personal privacy between family members without creating emotional distance? Is it a betrayal of trust to speak about private family matters publicly or express them in art?
One of the reasons for the break between mother and daughter is a series of paintings by Johanna called 'Mother and Child' which were exhibited in her family's home town. Her family interpreted this artwork as unfairly representing their lives whereas Johanna didn't necessarily intend them to be autobiographical. At first I found it frustrating that these paintings aren't described in much detail – nor is Johanna's body of artwork or technique though she's apparently prominent enough to deserve a retrospective exhibit. However, as she describes her memories it's clear there's a fundamental difference in how she interprets the world versus how her family views it. When she was younger Johanna drew pictures which were expressive and symbolic whereas her parents felt they should represent life as closely as possible like a photograph. This difference in point of view also extends to how they interpret a familial sense of duty and degrees of emotional connection to one another. The rift this eventually causes between them is shown to be quietly explosive as we follow Johanna's obsessive investigation.
No matter how close or distant you are from your own family these are issues which everyone can relate to some level. I think it's so interesting how with family we always get to a point where we wonder: am I the weird one or are they the weird ones? And this question is teasingly probed in this novel where on one level Johanna's behaviour is erratic and intrusive. But, on the other hand, her family's absolute rejection and refusal to speak to her is perversely cruel and viciously cold. Communication is key and this is something her family won't engage in but Johanna feels “There are so many crucial questions we never ask except in our most private moments, so many issues we avoid discussing even though the people who could contribute to clarification and information are still alive.” She witnesses her mother and sister routinely visit her father's grave. However, they ignore her though she's still alive and so close by. It's always felt like a mysterious tragedy to me that people can devote themselves so strongly to the memory of a family member who has died while ignoring the family they still have. I found it moving how this novel dynamically ponders this question.
